The person who came up with the idea of New Year resolutions must have been a mum. The idea of making a brand new start and looking forward with blind optimism and hope is a very maternal notion. It is something I find myself doing every morning, only to find myself on the brink of despair somewhere between 5pm and 7pm.
Most New Year resolutions are forgotten within an hour. Pre-babies, it was because New Year’s celebrations where the resolutions were made were better left forgotten. Now it’s because I don’t have the capacity to remember. Nevertheless, I’m going to kid myself again and set resolutions. Here are my nine for 2011:
Have some ‘me’ time
In the past month, I’ve been to three parties. Gifts were exchanged, the food was tasty and there were lots of good friends. The only downside is that all these parties finished at 5pm, the main dish of the day was jelly and ice cream and the guest of honour was Santa. Between mum and baby group, waterbabies club and a small handful of other new informal networks we’ve stumbled across, my sons have quite an active social life. So now it’s my turn. 2011 is the year of the mummy. No longer will a night out for me be a quick dash to the local supermarket to buy something for dinner.
Give daddy a break
Since I started writing Tales From The Crib I’ve used this column to talk about my husband’s flatulence, several degrees of ineptitude and his ability to sleep through the loudest crying fits. It is all true (and you can throw in a comical lack of knowledge of nursery rhymes and a mild case of nappyphobia for good measure), but looking back I’ve given him a hard time. He is improvising on the job just like me – he just doesn’t write a monthly article about the strange things that I’ve been doing. He is a terrific dad and the perfect role model for two boys who adore him. I just wish the three of them would share my opinions
on wind.
Webcam grandparents more often
When I moved to Dubai I didn’t think I would still be here six years on, but with good friends, a great lifestyle – especially this time of the year – and a mind block when it comes to packing up my things and moving home, I think it is fair to say we are here for the long haul. With that in mind I have decided I must make more of an effort with the grandparents and make sure they have equal visits by way of the webcam. My husband tells me that online is the way to go, so I intend to make an extra special effort.
Don’t say, ‘People without babies don’t understand’
I remember being in the UK and seeing an advert for Calpol. The last line of the advert was, ‘If you have children, you’ll understand’. I was so angered by this that I vowed never to buy it, no matter what. How dare they suggest I wouldn’t understand? In the last two or three years I have realised that I really didn’t understand and people with children just, – well, I am not going to say it. But for the record, my cupboard is stocked with Calpol and now I get it.
Spend less. On everything
I can see now that I didn’t need three pushchairs in the first year (especially when I have a couple of papooses as well). I also admit that a cupboard full of 23 teddy bears and 2004 toy cars, 12 baby spoons and 10 teething rings is excessive. So this year I am setting a budget and sticking to it. As a self-confessed shopaholic this won’t be easy, especially as Joe would look very cute in those dungarees I spotted.
Stop being diplomatic with strangers
Unwanted advice is something you seem to have to put up with when you have children. But this is it. No more Mrs Nice Mum. Two words – ‘butt out’. The other week, the boys and I were sitting in the park with my friend and her baby and a stranger came over and practically took Joe off me and laid him on the floor telling me he was too young to be sitting up and I was going to damage his back. What these strangers don’t realise is that, firstly, he is almost a year old, so he is plenty old enough, and if I don’t sit him up he will still be laying there when he is 12 as he is a lazy couch potato in the making.
Learn to let go
I always thought that when the boys got to about 18 months or two years old I would put them in nursery for a couple of mornings a week. As they grow, I just don’t know if I will be able to do it, but I figure I have until they reach school age to work it out. This is going to be the hardest thing of all.
Bring Barney into our lives
One issue divides my husband and I more than any other. It isn’t the breast versus bottle debate and it isn’t anything to do with how to stop children crying. It is a big fat purple dinosaur called Barney. I think that it’s just one of those things kids like. My husband, however, would like nothing more than to see him extinct. Daddy versus Styrofoam dinosaur is a competition that daddy ain’t gonna win. Not ever.
