Crossed arms, frowning and head down…happy? Obviously not. TOAD has been learning how to gather information from body language to interpret the subtext of people’s emotions.
Body Language expert and trainer for Spearhead Training, Colette O’Halloran explains, ‘Body language really comes down to two things, what signals are you sending to others and what signals are they sending you?’ But how can you tell what these signals mean?
Often Colette explains, ‘Our bodies and our instinctive reactions are amazing, we take much of our communication for granted, but awareness in this area can help us to know more clearly how our body language impacts those around us, and to learn what is the emotional appeal behind the words that people are using with us.’
In its simplest terms, body language as one classed in one of two things – open and closed. Colette explains, ‘Open body language is just that – open and welcoming. It says, “I’m open for business, welcome, I’m receptive to you and your ideas, I have time for you, let’s have an open conversation, let’s collaborate.” When you wish to convey these messages, you do so in the first few seconds of every encounter with open facial expression, smiling, uncrossed arms and legs, good eye contact, leaning forward, flexible shoulders, expressive use of hands, arms, legs and feet. This means a general relaxed and warm aura.
‘Closed body language on the other hand says, “Go away, I’m closed for business, I have something to hide. I’m nervous, I am not ready to listen to your ideas, I am resisting you, my mind is already made up and I won’t change it, I’m feeling threatened.” These messages are conveyed with arms and legs crossed defensively, a tendency to move away, avoiding eye contact, stiff upper body, fidgeting, clenching fists and not a smile to be seen.’
Though it’s not always so simple, there are some indicators that can give away someone’s subconscious – largely because often the body responds before the conscious mind can – thus body language is often more of a communication tool.
Colette says when trying to communicate through body language, ‘Think open and you will be open, think enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic, think success and you will generate success, think generously and you will engender generosity, think humbly and you will show humility. So point your heart to everyone that you meet and you will have a heart to heart encounter with everyone that you meet!’
To contact Colette or find out more visit www.spearhead-training.com (04 336 2552).
People who are not being entirely honest tend to:
•Blink and do not make steady eye contact when talking to people face to face
•Touch their face and scratch their nose
•Have closed body language i.e. arms folded or legs crossed, or may (unconsciously) put something between you, for example a book, a cup of coffee, a piece of paper etc
•Smile with only their mouths, people telling the truth will smile with their eyes and use all their facial muscles.
•Shift position slightly and pause before they respond to you.
•Shift uncomfortably and try to change the subject.
•Blink a lot.
•Offer more information than necessary.
Interpretation tips
Crossed arms or legs don’t always mean defensiveness – crossed arms while gripping the upper arms is a form of self-hugging which can be to combat unhappy or unsafe feelings.
Touching the neck often indicates doubt or disbelief when someone is listening to another person speak.
Looking right can often indicate fabrication as this is the creative side of the brain being accessed, however looking down and right is often an indication of accessing emotions and thoughtfulness.
Looking left is for recalling statistics and self-talk. Generally people look up and left when they are accessing memories.
Chewing on a thumb, pen or other object stems from a self-comforting back in childhood, people doing this may be confused or feeling insecure.
When someone first sits down, they will often cross their legs with the top one in the direction of the action or the person that appeals to their attention the most.
Generally when standing in a group, people will naturally point their feet at the person they are most attracted to.
