What’s that noise? Is it a child eating Rice Krispies? Or someone trampling over bubble wrap? Perhaps it’s some popcorn coming to life in the microwave? No, it’s the nervous wreck next to me on the bus cracking his knuckles.
As nerve-shreddingly annoying as scraping a fork across a plate, or running fingernails down a chalkboard, the act of twisting your fingers until they make that horrible popping noise has to be one of the most irritating known to man. We all know the type (some of you will work with them or even be married to them). You’ll be happily chatting away when, all of a sudden, they start frantically yanking at their hands to make that oh so squeamish sound. And it’s especially irritating because it’s obvious just how much satisfaction they get from doing it.
Abu Dhabi is rife with knuckle crackers and many of the culprits seem to be taxi drivers. And that troubles me. Cracking your knuckles is meant to be a sign of nerves. So what are my cabbies nervous about? The political state of Peru? The price of beef? Or more worryingly, driving me safely around the streets of Abu Dhabi?
But it’s not just our cab drivers who do it. I’ve had hotel staff, shop assistants, waiters and even cleaners take time out to start contorting their hands into strange positions, desperately chasing their next hit of crackle and pop goodness. The urban myth, of course, claims cracking your knuckles can lead to arthritis, which unfortunately isn’t true. If it was, it might stop most of you doing it. Although research does suggest it causes hand swelling and reduced grip strength. But that won’t put you off, will it?
So if like me, it’s a noise that drives you to despair, what can you do? I can’t beat them, but I’m certainly not joining them, so I’ve done what every right minded person does in this day and age: I’ve gone online to have a rant.
There’s a Facebook group called I hate when people crack their knuckles (note the use of capital letters). It had 428 members. It has 429 now. Take that, knuckle crackers. I thought listening to my iPod might help, but that just meant the cabbies took me down Salam Street when I didn’t want them to and I missed a call from Etisalat telling me they were at my apartment to install my wi-fi.
What makes me want to scream even more is that one finger popper has been rewarded for doing it. Medical doctor Donald Unger cracked the knuckles of his left hand every day for more than 60 years, but he did not crack the knuckles of his right hand (he’s clearly a maverick).
No arthritis or other ailments formed in either of his hand and he was awarded 2009’s Ig Nobel Prize in Medicine for his ‘hard work’. Imagine what he could have done with that time instead. Found a cure for cancer. Or watched paint dry. I’m posting him a copy of Time Out Eating Out In Abu Dhabi because he clearly needs to leave the house more. Although he’d probably be too busy cracking his fingers to bother picking up a fork.
Andy Sherwood is our Editor. He now wishes his wife’s claim he has selective deafness was true.
