Sleep deprivation is one of the hardest things of being a new parent and it’s certainly nothing to yawn at. When you aren’t getting enough sleep, or aren’t getting quality sleep, even the smallest thing can seem like a complete disaster (trust us, we’ve been there).
But all is not lost because the good news is that there are strategies you can use to get the rest you need. Never fear, help is at hand in the form of hero-without-a-cape, paediatric sleep consultant Sara Elamory from Sleep Train Me Consulting.
Baby whisperer, Elamory, who has two children herself, has helped hundreds of families to teach their little one’s healthy sleep habits and she points out that achieving that is “priceless.” Here is what she has to say…
The process
Sleep training is the process of teaching your baby how to sleep independently. One of the main ways to do that is to get rid of external sleep associations – such as rocking, patting and feeding to sleep – by allowing baby the time, space and opportunity to gradually, and with parents’ guidance, learn to develop their own positive internal sleep associations. The aim is not just to teach them to fall asleep easily at bedtime, but to empower them to have the skills to sleep throughout the night and improve the quality of their daytime sleep.
The techniques
There are many sleep training techniques and the best one is the one that is tailored to the baby’s needs.
It’s important to identify where baby is at in order to be able to achieve the goal, that’s why the first step of my journey with parents is to find out every single detail about the child.
Parents start by completing a comprehensive questionnaire that covers information I need to know before I start working on the sleep plan e.g. medical history, weight, physical and mental developmental milestones, diet and sleep habits.
We then discuss the plan I’ve developed for their little one in a meeting or on a call. The sleep plan contains specific strategies including troubleshooting possible problems, addressing bedtime routines, night wakings, naps and any other sleep-related issues they might be dealing with.
Then we agree on a date when the plan will be implemented along with my close daily, and step by step, follow up. This is the most important part of the support process. This is where we can ensure the plan is working and make any recommendations of change.
I also provide parents with a link for an online sleep log that allows me to keep a careful eye on their babie’s progress and make any changes promptly. The process takes about two weeksto reach the goal, but parents start seeing improvements from the very first night of implementing the sleep plan.
The babies
Can all babies be sleep trained? Well, as any other thing in life there’s always a risk to success. As long as the parents are consistent and are following the plan, the results are guaranteed. I’m proud to say that my success is 100 percent with all children I’ve worked with to date.
The signs
So, how can you tell when your baby is sleepy? It depends on the age but generally, rubbing eyes, pulling ears, getting quieter than usual. I always recommend following baby’s awake windows by age and if baby seems to get tired earlier to try to change the activity to be able to decide if baby is really tired or just bored.
The toddlers
When they become toddlers they get more creative, and with that creativity and new-found intelligence, we see a lot of boundary-testing. They will know that the one thing you want from them at bedtime is for them to go to sleep, so they’ll use that to their advantage. I know it sounds a little diabolical, but it’s their way of seeing where your boundaries lie and how much authority they actually have.
So, one night they ask for a glass of milk. The next night, they ask for an extra story.
A week later, they want a glass of milk, an extra story, three hugs and two goodnight kisses. Little by little, these crazy bedtime routines get established, all according to what the toddler wants.
So there’s a simple, two step solution to this issue. First, establish a short bedtime routine. And second, never deviate from it.
Sticking to the rules can be a challenge, because they’re going to ask, test and complain, but if you stick to your guns, they’ll understand sooner rather than later that the bedtime routine is not up for debate.
This benefits both of you, in spite of the fact that your little one might not agree. Toddlers take a great amount of comfort in knowing that you, the parent, are firmly in charge and are confident in your decisions. It gives them a sense of security. If you start allowing them to make the decisions, they actually start to feel like they’re in charge, and that feeling that Mum knows what she’s doing starts to fade.
Additionally, a predictable, repetitive bedtime routine is greatly conducive to a good night’s sleep. It signals the brain to start secreting melatonin and signals the body to start relaxing muscles in preparation for a restful, relaxing snooze.
Top tips to help babies sleep better
Consistency is key- Whatever is happening at one sleep situation needs to be happening at all sleep situations.
Adopt an early Bedtime. Early bedtimes are best to avoid children becoming overtired.
Honor naps’ timings. Skipping naps and having late bedtimes is going to impact the next 24-hour cycle.
Have a solid bedtime routine in place. A well-planned, consistent bedtime routine is conducive to a good night’s sleep, no matter what your age, but particularly with babies. (e.g. bath, massage, pajama, story/song, swaddle or sleep sack, in bed)
Keep it dark. Melatonin production (the sleep hormone) is triggered by darkness, so start turning down the lights an hour before you plan to put baby down. Especially electronic screens, which emit a blue light that is particularly inimical to baby’s shut-down process.
Avoid over-tiredness.
Babies need to learn how to fall asleep independently.
