One in five children worldwide admit they are doing things online that their parents wouldn’t approve of, so how can we get across the importance of using the internet safely but keep the lines of conversation open?
Mobily eSports corporate brand general manager, Muhannad Kadi, knows how hard it is to find a balance between keeping an eye on what our kids are doing online and intruding on our children’s internet habits.
Too often parents think they are the internet police, but perhaps it would be far healthier if we could get them to be the internet mentors.
When should we start talking to our children about online safety?
I believe we should start addressing children’s safety in general early on. As a parent, you are the best judge of your child’s ability to understand certain concepts. Of course, we need to use a simplified language and approach, but some children start using technology as early as the age of four, while others won’t use it until age eight or nine. So it really depends on how they utilise tech.
However, as soon as your child is old enough to play multiplayer games, you must have had that one-to-one by then. We believe open communication is the key to protecting your children and making sure they are gaming safely. And that’s why, just recently, we worked on the ProtectSet: a custom-built headset that makes kids’ voices sound older and helps to ward off predators who might be targeting them in online gaming lobbies. More than a tool to solve this issue, the device is a conversation starter and it’s getting quite a few parents and kids to really shed light on the issue and make gaming safety a topic of debate.
What should be a parents’ biggest concern about their children using the internet and gaming?
Concerns are usually about the mental, physical, and emotional health of your child gamer. How they engage with the medium, how long they play, and their understanding of the social pros and cons of online games, are all factors you need to be mindful of. The trick is to make them feel empowered to decide on their own, while knowing that you’re there when they need you. This way, it becomes an educational experience that starts with them relying on your knowledge, until they’re ready to venture out on their own. Whatever you do, do not leave your children on their own for prolonged periods of time nor should you police them; rather, strike a balance by keeping channels of communication open through discussion. Listen more than you talk.
Aside from parental controls, what else should parents have in place?
Active involvement in your child gamer’s life is the number one advice anyone can give. This can be basic understanding of the type of games their children play, and an open-channel of communication to talk about those games and their experiences in them. It is also useful every now and then to play a game with your child to build trust, understand what interests them and stay abreast of gaming technologies so as not to feel left out or behind.
Children know more about the internet and gaming than most parents do. Any tips?
Fortunately, the resources to self-educate are accessible to everyone. Articles from reputable sources, credible YouTube channels, and even courses on sites like SkillShare, all can help in bridging the gap, and give you a more active role in their journey exploring this medium. But don’t just rely on these resources. Engage your children by discussing what they’ve learned, which games they like best and why. This way, you stay connected to their development as well as stay acquainted with the games.
Should we know our children’s passwords?
This is all based on the trust you build with your child. At the early stages, around the age of nine or ten, it’s a must to know their passwords, as it’ll help in case of any emergency that involves video games. As they grow older, it’s an option for your kids to share their passwords. If they do, that means they trust you, and if they don’t, this is a nice opportunity to discuss.
Should we be friends with our kids on social media?
Sure. However, it shouldn’t be mandatory, because you’ll either face resistance, or force your kids to play along and take their real social behavior on a platform you’re not on.
We are worried that our child has seen something inappropriate online. What should we do?
Talk to them. Rule out if it was by mistake, which is common, or by choice. And, as part of the open-channel to discuss these things, explain why it’s inappropriate, and emphasise on the trust system you built with your child and how you appreciate them letting you know about it. And then, after the primary things are done, learn more about how you can monitor this from afar to see any recurrences, and how you can tweak your parental control settings to avoid it happening by mistake.
How can we find out if our children are being cyber bullied?
Be observant. Body language and behavioural changes can be key indicators that something is not right. And, more importantly, keep an open channel of communication between you and your child and make sure they know they can speak with you about it.
