Ahmed Ahmed has this joke. It goes: ‘My name is Ahmed Ahmed. I can’t even fly a kite anymore.’ You only have to Google the Egyptian-American comedian’s name to fully comprehend the punchline. Scroll down and it’s not long before you stumble across the FBI’s most wanted site, where terrorist Ahmed Mohammed Hamed Ali (aka Ahmed Ahmed or Ahmed the Egyptian) is always in residence. It’s no wonder that passing through customs is a bit tricky. ‘They put you in what I call “The Brown Room”,’ he says. ‘There’s normally about a dozen or so people of a brownish colour looking around and saying, “You look like a terrorist.” “No, you look like a terrorist.”’
Needless to say, Ahmed Ahmed is amused. After growing up in the relatively quiet Californian suburb of Riverside in the early ’70s, he has grown used to the looks. ‘There weren’t any Egyptians or Arabs around back then, just white families. Funny things come out of that. Anything tragic or uncomfortable is the best way to make comedy – awkward is always funny and we had an awkward upbringing. We were like the Arab Munsters: white families lived around us and would look over the fence just to see what was going on. I’m like: my mom’s just cooking with cumin and garlic, it’s not a conspiracy.’
It would make a good sitcom. He agrees, but there were moments that went beyond mere awkwardness. ‘During the Iran contra era, we had people toilet papering our house; we had nails under our tyres and prank callers saying, “Get out of this country, Iranians”.’
Ahmed moved to Hollywood when he turned 19. He had dreams of becoming the next Denzel Washington or Marlon Brando, but found only the the stereotypical Middle Eastern roles: oil sheikh, Arab prince and terrorist, so he turned to comedy. ‘I was the only Arab comedian at the time,’ he recalls. ‘No-one would book me in the clubs. It was difficult for seven years, and then 9/11 happened and it got even worse.’ But it also had another effect: it created space for a genuine Arab voice. ‘I had seven years of training. I was ready to take on all the s*** being thrown at us. Not so much the Middle East, but Arabs and Muslims in general are so misrepresented.’
Ahmed’s self-deprecating style won him admirers, and when legendary LA comedy store owner Mitzi Shore put him together with comedians Maz Jobran, Aron Kader and Dean Obeidallah to form Axis of Evil, they became that voice.
‘We toured together for seven years, it was kind of like being in a band,’ he says. A Comedy Central special, global acclaim and a major tour of the Middle East with Showtime Arabia followed. But note the past tense. Despite appearing live alongside Maz, Aron and Dean at the Ammam Jordan Comedy Festival last month, this will be a rare sight in the future. ‘Different members want to do their own projects. I didn’t want it to be like the Blue Man Group. Working together in Jordan was like a reunion, but as for working together as a continual group? I think it’s over.’
It’s not the full ‘who gets the kids?’ divorce, nor is it bitter, but it does seem final. ‘Now I’m using any following I have in the Middle East to showcase some of my favourite comedians,’ he says. ‘This past year, comedy has really opened up in the Middle East. It’s rapid and exciting, but the funny thing is that there is a lot of competition early on. I’ve felt it from people who want to get involved, and my peers. It’s not a case of spreading ill will; they just see this gold rush in comedy. It’s like the Wild East and everyone is running to a plot to stick their flag in the sand.’
But with topics like sex, drugs and politics still a touchy subject, is their room for comedy? ‘My comedy’s more about healing and bringing people together. “You can’t hate anybody with whom you are laughing,”’ he quotes.
You definitely can’t hate Ahmed Ahmed. At 38, he is a veteran of the world comedy circuit and has weathered a lot. ‘It’s definitely easier for Middle Eastern comics to make a presence now,’ he says, ‘especially since guys like Axis of Evil were able to come out and say we’re Middle Eastern and it’s OK.’ To prove the global appeal of comedy, he tells me he’s just recently finished a tour of Australia with Canadian- Indian comic Russell Peters. ‘We hit five cities and [Russell] sold 30,000 tickets – we called him Elvis Parsley. He’s the only Indian comic, so he’s got an audience of a billion.’
This year also sees Ahmed Ahmed returning to his acting roots when he stars in City of Life, a movie by young UAE director Ali F Mostofa to be made and set in Dubai. Filming starts in a few months. ‘It’s got humour, drama and I don’t play a terrorist,’ he adds. But like a large white elephant shuffling its feet uncomfortably at the back of the room, the big question remains unspoken: was he sad to see George Bush go? ‘[Laughs] Yeah, he was gold for comedians. We’re all a little saddened. It goes back to that awkward-tragic thing. That’s why George was so good.’ As to whether you can make a satirical living under Barrack Obama, he just shrugs. ‘Too early to say, the rest of the world will only start making fun when he screws up.’
No matter who’s in charge, or who he appears alongside, Ahmed Ahmed is looking forward to bringing comedy to Abu Dhabi this month. And we’re happy to have him – we’ll just have to make sure customs know about it first.
Ahmed Ahmed presents…
Sebastian Maniscalco
‘He is one of the most detailed and specific comedians I’ve ever seen. He is one of those people who picks apart the smallest things and expands them into a whole Pandora’s Box.’
Erik Griffin
‘Erik is like watching a Saturday morning cartoon. He’s funny to look at, he can sing, he’s one of the most talented artists out there at the moment – and he looks Arab too. We make fun of that.’
Bobby Lee
‘Bobby is like the tsunami of comedy. He is a force of nature. He has this hit show in the US called Mad TV; he’s Korean and he’s very animated – a high energy kind of guy.’
Ahmed Ahmed presents… is at Beach Rotana Abu Dhabi (02 697 9000) from January 27-28. Doors open 8pm, show starts 9pm
