Here at TOAD we love cake. We also love chocolate and pretty much anything that has carbs as a major ingredient, and after a fun festive season we have fallen into the lazy person’s exercise regime. You know the deal: we want to give minimal effort for maximum results. We even bought a treadmill with the idea of using it while watching TV, hoping we’d be so engrossed our favourite shows we’d hardly even notice the stitch in our side and the sweat pouring from our forehead. Well, we were wrong – and now it’s just sitting there, doing nothing but taking up room, not being used… although it’s really great for hanging beach towels on. So when we discovered we can slim down, tone up and banish cellulite without going near a single piece of exercise equipment, we jumped at the chance. In exchange all you have to wear is an all-in-one body stocking, but that’s surely a small price to pay?
The treatment: step by step
Lipomassage (LPG) is not a new concept, but it has recently been revamped and now claims to be 50 percent more effective, meaning instead of needing 12 sessions before you see a difference, you may now only need six. It involves a vacuum-like machine with a two-roller head making various sucking and shaking movements, which apparently encourages your body to release fat pockets, as well as stimulating collagen and elastin production. It means that those dreaded fat areas you just can’t shift are drained (or, rather, transformed into fatty acids, which we use for energy) and your skin is smoothed and tightened, creating a more refined, streamlined figure.
As we arrive for our first session, we’re a little intimidated by the scary-looking machine sat next to the massage bed. Looking more like something you’d see in a sci-fi movie, we begin to wonder if the downside of this miracle treatment is that it inflicts excruciating pain. We needn’t have worried. With each session the strength of the aforementioned ‘sucky and shaky’ movement is cranked up, yet it never becomes more than a little uncomfortable. In fact, after a few sessions we start to find it pretty relaxing – we even nod off a couple of times and it almost feels like a massage. It certainly doesn’t compare to the pain we’ve suffered in the gym pounding the treadmill or those horrible boot camps we’ve endured. And this is the true beauty of LPG: we’re lying on a bed, being given the equivalent of a deep-tissue massage (albeit a practical rather than pampering one), and it supposedly has the same effect as sweating it out at the gym or an exercise class. We ask you honestly, where would you rather be?
We then move onto the Endermolift session for our face. This is less about removing fat (although if you do have some stubborn fatty areas they can sort this out for you) and more about lifting your face and giving it an instant glow. The process is similar to the body but it’s much more gentle and acts as more of a light massage techinique to help circulation and to get your blood flowing, which is what ultimately gives you the glow. If you are concerned about those pesky fine lines the treatment will also work to deminish them since it also promotes the production of collagen and elastin by renewing the cells through the stimulation of the machine. As collagen fibres form and the cellular structure is reorganised, wrinkles are ‘filled in’ from within, fine lines are smoothed and skin is rejuvenated.
The pros
We haven’t lost any inches but after six sessions we definitely feel tighter and our cellulite is much less noticeable. People have even commented that we’re looking in good shape and have asked if we’ve been exercising or have changed our diet. The staff are knowledgable and professional and the treatment is pain free. Slim down, firm, resculpt and smooth.
The cons
As with most ‘miracle treatments’, LPG comes with its own small print: to get optimum results, you must also exercise and eat a balanced diet. The treatments are also expensive but if you really need cellulite sorted out then think of it as an investment.
The results
We admit you can’t beat exercise for getting in shape – it keeps you fit and healthy, which lying on a bed obviously does not. However, if you have stubborn fatty areas that just won’t shift, or the dreaded orange-peel skin that can afflict even the skinniest people, LPG is a viable option. The thing we are most impressed with is our face. It’s bright and has an amazing glow, fine lines around our forehead, eyes and near our mouth have almost disappeared after just one treatment. We would definitely go back and try this again.
Endermologie Lipomassage for the body costs Dhs290 per session when you buy six sessions, and Dhs260 (plus free session for face worth Dhs250) when you buy 12 sessions. A single session is Dhs350. Endermolift for face is Dhs210 per session when you buy six sessions, and Dhs190 each when you buy 12 sessions. A single session is Dhs250. Bellacure Nails, Shop 3, Golden Tower, Al Mamoura (02 658 4100).
