Selecting a Christmas film is an art as precise as wrapping a present.
Get it right and you elevate something already special and make it more memorable. Get it wrong, however, and you can spoil your efforts.
In the run up to the big day you want something festive and wintery to get you in the mood and on the night before it has to be a magical and uplifting classic.
If you’re watching something on Christmas Day itself it should be in that nap lull between eating half your bodyweight in turkey and starting to pick at leftovers.
Try these Christmas crackers.
Jingle All The Way
Don’t be fooled by the toys and youngster-pleasing slapstick – this is a film for adults. Any parent who has struggled to track down this year’s “must-have” toy knows this is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s most-relatable role. While kids will find fun in the physical comedy and set-piece laughs, parents can view it as a race-against-the-clock thriller or anti-materialism satire. Just remember it is only a film and you don’t need to wrestle anybody at Hamleys in the Dubai Mall.
The Snowman
As well as being the perfect Christmas film there is an argument that says this is the greatest piece of art ever created. Funny, playful, imaginative, charming – it has everything. Then there is the delightful soundtrack, bizarre David Bowie cameo, iconic song and finale that will have old and young alike crying their eyes out. The sequel, with added Snowdogs, is a classic too and watched back-to-back this is an excellent hour of silent entertainment before heading straight to Ski Dubai to create your own frozen friend.
Elf
Now that it is getting on for 20 years old we have to stop thinking of this as one of the newer Christmas films, but from first screening to now it has been an instant classic. There are hundreds of Christmas films, with many being instantly forgettable. Will Ferrel’s turn as Buddy The Elf is his greatest role and his childlike innocence and wide-eyed optimism are a sweet antidote to more cynical times. If you don’t agree then you are a cotton-headed ninny-muggins who sits on a throne of lies.
The Polar Express
We’re not saying the animated faces and human motion-capture visuals aren’t creepy. We accept that. There is something horrifying about the dead eyes and vacant stares that is suitably chilling. But kids don’t notice that. It is just cynical and jaded adults. Youngsters see only presents, friends, enchanting snowfall, thrill rides and a visit to see (Tom Hanks’) Santa. And that is as it should be.
A Nightmare Before Christmas
Trust an anti-Christmas Halloween movie that has somehow sneaked into the list to be the most heart-warming of them all. There might actually be a message in there about true meaning of Christmas and there are definitely carol singers, snowball fights, Santa and gift giving. The only thing is, all that is hidden behind gorgeous stop motion animation, quirky characters and Tim Burton’s dark imagination to stop it being in the slightest bit sickly.
Arthur Christmas
Santa’s logistics business is an operation that makes Jebel Ali port seem like a simple brunch for two and this quirky British animation tells the story of an empire’s succession plan. With their high-tech delivery system, elf led parcel-tracking service and cutting edge gadgetry there is a chance the Clauses might be losing some of their magic. Until youngest son Arthur steps in.
Home Alone
The stuck-at-home classic has been rebooted for Netflix this year, but the original John-Hughes written, Chris Columbus-directed and Macaulay Culkin-starring original is best. The genius is knowing that most kids don’t fantasise about having superpowers, battling goblins or being a wizard. They just want to bash a grown up with a bowling ball, eat junk food, avoid chores and have an adventure without having to get out of pyjamas. Don’t we all? Want to feel old? Macaulay is now 41 years old.
A Charlie Brown Christmas
Whether it is the home-spun philosophy, groovy jazz soundtrack, simplistic animation or understated child actors, there is a dreamlike quality to this Peanuts film that has entertained for more than 50 years. The slower pace and family spirit are the perfect antidote to loud and aggressive sensory overload of much modern cinema.
Love Actually
It has become fashionable to sneer at Richard Curtis’s ensemble comedy, but there’s no denying it sets the mood for holiday romance. Britcom staples Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Bill Nighy, Rowan Atkinson all play exaggerated versions of their usual characters, while Emma Thompson, Keira Knightley and Martine McCutcheon are all excellent inclusions to an all-star cast. The biggest name of all, though, doesn’t even appear on screen but Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas is You” plays a key role in proceedings.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
Missing your family who are in another country during the holidays? Watch this 80s slapstick comedy to remember how annoying family really are and why you’re better off well away from them.
Bridget Jones’s Diary
There may be an argument that this is more of a New Year’s film, but how could we not include the movie that that launched a thousand ironic Christmas jumpers? Think of it as a British version of Sex and the City with Renée Zellweger, plus Hugh Grant and Colin Firth doing Hugh Grant and Colin Firth things. Wrapping up warm is part of the Christmas tradition we can’t really go for in Dubai, but festive sweater parties continue to be a trend and this film is probably the reason why.
Scrooged
We could have picked any one of dozens of remakes of a Christmas Carol, but there is something about this inner-city, cynical, media business rehashing that seems to fit in with Dubai. Maybe it’s because we’ve all seen people like Bill Murray’s Ebeneezer Scrooge-alike around the city. Brash, arrogant, inconsiderate and in need of a lesson in work-life balance this is how Charles Dickens story would look if made in office blocks around the city.
It’s A Wonderful Life
Often popping up on lists of the greatest film of all time, Christmas-related or otherwise, Frank Capra’s masterpiece starring James Stewart is a love letter to small town America. Which makes it all the more enjoyable when viewed in an ultra-modern city like Dubai. The idea of paying it forward and how your kindness is felt by others, even if you don’t know it, is as true in our city as it was in tiny Bedford Falls nearly 70 years ago.
Die Hard
What do you mean it’s not a Christmas film? Bruce Willis wears a Santa hat, there’s an office party happening downstairs, “Winter Wonderland” is in the soundtrack and it even snows at the end. It absolutely is. So much so, in fact, that it search traffic for the films spikes every year and the debate over whether this stocking thriller is a Christmas film or not is now an annual tradition. We still harbour hopes that a real estate company is going to build a replica Nakatomi Plaza with a restaurant called Dubai Hard in it. Why, oh why has this not happened?
Office Christmas Party
Don’t even think about going to any work celebrations in Dubai without watching this cautionary tale first. Starring an always watchable Jennifer Anniston as a corporate CEO looking to downsize staff it steps over the heartwarming messages, gift-giving and Santa Claus to land on the true meaning of Christmas – office parties. Jason Bateman pops up to be cynical, charming and relatable, but it is matching the fictional workplace oddballs with your own oddball colleagues that is most fun.
Gremlins
Phoebe Cates tells the most depressing Christmas story ever recorded on film, but it also has Gizmo the mogwai in a Santa hat and that is the cutest thing ever. That’s balance. The best Christmas horror film and also the reason we secretly wish we could find a gremlin for sale at Old Town back streets near the souks in Dubai.
Holiday Inn
The world’s best-selling single, White Christmas (it has sold more than 100m copies), was composed by Irving Berlin and sung by Bing Crosby in this film. That alone would be enough to earn a place on this list. Throw in Fred Astaire and Marjorie Reynolds and some good-old fashioned Broadway the show must go on pizazz and it is an old school classic. Swing by the Holiday Inn Al Barsha beforehand to get in the mood.
Rocky 4
For our money the best Cold War boxing drama in which an all-American hero takes on a former Soviet champion to avenge the in-ring death of his best friend. And, yes, like Die Hard it is very much a Christmas film. Rocky even conducts his training montage in the snow and wishes his son a happy Christmas after delivering a rousing speech to Mikhail Gorbachev. Arrange a boot camp on the beach if you get pumped up while watching.
Black Christmas
Not magical, not sweet and certainly not Christmassy, but for a change of gear this early slasher film puts a different twist on seasonal celluloid. A clear inspiration for Halloween and Friday the 13th it sees a maniac killer on the loose on a snowy college campus.
Last Christmas
The most recent film on the list is, somehow, the most nostalgic. Not only does it feature 14 Wham! and George Michael songs (including the eponymous Christmas classic) it will remind many homesick expats of holidays past in London with familiar locations from across the city. There are dozens of romantic comedies that dangle the miseltoe, but give this Emilia Clarke-starring newbie a try instead of reaching for repeat views again.
