Rob Beckett always has 20 minutes on him. No, he doesn’t mean 20 minutes to spare – as one of British comedy’s elite the laughter merchant is a very busy man.
What he always has is 1,200 seconds of material on tap, just in case he’s ever dragged off the street to fill a slot on stage.
“I’ve always got 20 minutes that I can go and do whether I’m on tour or not,” he tells Time Out ahead of his first UAE gig (this show has been rescheduled to Thursday October 28, click here for details).
“I think you’re not a proper comedian if you walk past a comedy club and someone goes ‘Can you come on for 20 minutes?’… I can’t call myself a comedian if I go ‘Oh no I’m not ready!’ I should always have 20 minutes to go.”
Beckett is more than just a familiar face on British TV screens. He is currently narrator of hit reality TV series Celebs Go Dating, in which he (sometimes ruthlessly) commentates on poor B-Listers in their often malfunctioning attempts to find love.
For the past five years he has also been a team captain on panel show 8 Out of 10 Cats and his stock has never been higher.
In an impressive programming profile he has also made us crease as co-host on ITV2 spin-off show I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here! NOW!
But his first – and last – love will always be stand-up.
“I’d call it the OG of my CV – it’s the first thing I did and it’ll be the last thing I’ll do. Obviously when you’re on tour for months and months it can be a grind, but stand-up is my favourite thing,” he says.
“If I had a week off at any point I’d go and do a gig at my local club. And if I didn’t become a comedian I would do it as a hobby like people do with five-a-side.
“It will always be stand-up that I want to go and do.
“Even when I’m an 80-year-old bloke I’ll be shuffling up to a comedy club somewhere. So to be able to do a proper live gig, to a proper audience, I can’t wait.”
After a year of “awful stuff” Beckett is looking forward to connect with audiences in the flesh once more.
“It’s making me smile thinking about it. There’s a load of awful stuff gone on in the past year or so,” he said.
“Just to get out there and connect with people, I think that’s what people are missing, that live performance.
“You’ve had a few shows there in Dubai, it’s a bit more open, and I think hopefully the crowd will be absolutely buzzing for it.”
The star will source some material from his last tour in the UK, which had to be postponed in parts due to the pandemic.
But largely he prefers to keep his performances “in the moment”, meaning no two can ever be the same.
“There are two different types of comedians. People who write a show and perform that show at their audience every night and word for word it is exactly the same. That’s brilliant if that’s what you do,” he says.
“What I do, I have jokes, but as far as I’m concerned that’s back-up ammo. The reality is I would love to go in and speak to the audience and then the show happens.
“If you use the jokes you’ve got it’s a bonus, but the ideal scenario is you don’t need them, and it’s in and of that moment. The people who come to the show in Dubai… that show won’t exist anywhere else in the world, ever.
“When everything is recorded and put everywhere… what you’ll see in Dubai will be something I’ve never said before.
“There will be certain routines you use throughout the tour, but what is so exciting about the moment is you haven’t got the time to get it exactly right and prepare everything.
“A lot of comedians won’t take this gig because they need that set up. But for me I love it because it’s a lot more improvised.”
Beckett concedes that the current environment means preparation is a little distorted. But, he insists, it all adds to the excitement and thrill of being on stage.
“Normally you would do Dubai at the end of your tour. So I’ve ‘got the show’ but I’ve not done it for months and months. It’s in there, but it’s weird. It’s like monkey bars trying to remember it.
“If I was coming to Dubai [in normal circumstances], I’d do ten to 15 shows to prepare, but that’s just not available, it’s not for lack of trying, you just can’t do that in the UK. I know it all, but it’s like swinging along through the joke and all of a sudden there is a bar missing.
“I find that quite exciting, that you’ve got to try and remember and work around it. I’ve got this show but I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
Beckett has vacationed in Dubai previously, but won’t have much longer than 20 minutes to tick off things the old UAE bucket list this time around.
Asked if he had plans to see the sights: “I would love to, I’ve only ever been to Dubai with my kids and wife – the family side of it. I think I’m there a day before to get over the jet lag, and leave the next day [after the show].
“I can’t really leave my wife and two kids in lockdown England and have a two-week jolly in Dubai working for one night.
“I’d absolutely love to be out there for two weeks but I can’t. Forgetting guidelines, I’m just keeping my wife happy.”
They say laughter is the best medicine, and after the belly full we’ve had over the past year, a good chuckle is just what the doctor ordered.
Tickets from Dhs195. Tickets available to over 21s in groups of two, three, four and six only across all categories. Thu Oct 28. Dubai World Trade Centre, Sheikh Zayed Road, 800Tickets.com.
Rapid fire round
Top backstage snack?
Diet Coke is a winner if I need a bit of sugar but don’t want to go mental. So rock and roll.
Describe Rob Beckett in three words
Grafter, relentless, annoying.
Favourite stand-up that’s not you?
Bill Burr.
Who’s with you in a couple’s pedalo trip around the Palm?
Romesh Ranganathan. I know he’d hate that. Or Freddie Flintoff, he’s pretty good in them.
Favourite show you’ve been on?
Celebs Go Dating. I bowl in, sit in a booth, take the mickey out of everyone and go home. It’s a sweet job.
Desert island disc?
Arctic Monkeys – Beneath the Boardwalk.
Desert safari or party brunch?
Desert safari.
Base jump off the Burj Khalifa or take the stairs from bottom to top?
Stairs all day long. Hiking boots, podcast in, exercise. Thanks very much.
