1 Drop into your favourite fancy restaurant and wait for the bread basket to arrive (Prego’s do a particularly good loaf, which comes with big chunks of parmesan and an olive tapenade). Just as the waiter asks to take your order, pull out your phone, read an imaginary text message and mutter something about stock prices or a house fire as you apologise and make a hasty exit.
2 Most big hotels in the city have staff canteens, where the food is very good indeed. All you need to get in on the nosh is some sort of official-looking outfit (a white apron usually works) and a bit of patience. Simply hang around a communal area, wait for someone to slip through one of those ‘staff only’ doors and follow after them, then follow your nose to a free dinner.
3 Go to a brunch with your friend, but make it clear to your waiter that you won’t be eating. Then, while your companion heads back to the buffet, swipe the leftovers from their plate and zip them safely away in your trousers. Just remember to hoover your pockets out beforehand, unless you want your free lunch coated in fluff and old bits of tissue.
4 Go to a trendy bar, wait for them to plonk your complimentary bowl of nuts/popcorn/wasabi peas down on the table, then drink tap water all night until you’re full. If anyone causes a fuss, tell them your friend is set to arrive any minute now and that he has a taste for expensive, vintage bubblies.
5 Posh delis are incredibly generous with their free samples, especially if you look like you might be about to buy something. So, wearing your best connoisseur-like expression, head to Jones the Grocer’s refrigerated cheese room, and don’t leave before you’ve sampled every single blue-veined, creamy and wax-coated specimen with every single spicy, fruity and tangy chutney. Before suddenly realising you’ve forgotten your wallet and making for the door.
