It’s not in every capital that you can just trot to a five star hotel, recline and allow the stresses of the world to evaporate as you watch the sun set in true OC style. Think London’s Claridges (exquisite, but where’s the infinity pool?), New York’s The Plaza (grandiose, but sans palm trees) and Paris’ Hôtel Plaza Athénée (divine, but where are the chilled towelettes?).
Of course there’s the South East Asia contingent and a few dotted about the Mediterranean, but when it comes to utter Zen, Abu Dhabi’s Shangri La Qaryat Al Beri hotel is where it’s at. Everything from the authentic fortress exterior to the balmy waters of the infinity pool is spot on. Not only that but the planners have had a little think about the aesthetics of the place; The hotel faces towards the Sheikh Zayed mosque… A welcome respite from the usual forest of cranes splattered across the horizon.
But it’s the little details that had us hooked. The moment you enter the Nepalese/ Tibetan-themed Chi spa – complete with hand-sewn tapestries, rooms emblazoned with Namshe (meaning consciousness) and Gompa (meaning place of solitude) – wafts of spikenard, sandalwood and eucalyptus tickle your nasal hairs before you can even utter, ‘what’s spikenard?’ (A rare herb found in the Himalayas)
Before galloping in a stress-induced flurry towards the treatment rooms, one of the therapists (we had Rama, Rachane and LG… and got a forced laugh from the latter when we asked if it stood for, ‘Life’s Good’) will usher you towards a dimly lit relaxation area. This little capsule of Zen does exactly what it says on the box; the steam room is steamy, the Jacuzzi bubbly and the sauna is, well, hot.
Every treatment begins with a welcome ritual. Essentially, it’s all about sinking your tootsies in a bowl of rose petal-adorned water and sipping a mug of date, peach or ginger tea. We say mug, but it’s actually a jade tea cup, which according to all those kooky New Age believers can help everything from depression to boils. ‘Crystal and gem healing is an art and practice that can heal many ailments,’ assures Rama as she starts scrubbing our pasty pins with some coconut and salt (part deux of the welcome ritual). Apparently the humble jade tea cup (we got a mild nod of disappointment when we referred to it as a mug) is all about the ‘physical, spiritual, zodiac and tranquility,’ Rama continues. Slumped into a chair with polished legs, we’re sold.
If it’s the Himalayan Healing Stone massage you’ve signed up for then be prepared to leave as soporific as Tibet’s Lake Kokonar. Inspired by ancient healing techniques of the former, Rama uses a medley of hot stones, which are coloured according to your personality (Time Out is a jolly red and yellow) to ‘take away your negatives’. Not that we were feeling like the glass was half full before, but as Rama worked the stones into our nooks and crannies, we certainly were feeling sprightlier afterwards. Our only issue was with the gong that was sounded before and after the treatment. It was authentic and everything, but it seemed a little out of place in a new hotel.
The Travellers Retreat is a whole other kettle of fish. Despite the gong action and welcome ritual standing strong, this session (there’s too many strings its bow to warrant the term, ‘treatment’) starts with a revitalizing scrub, which, if you’ve managed to bank a fairly good tan, may leave you pastier than an Eskimos derriere. Then it’s onto the Detoxifying Biodgra Algae Wrap, which is as impressive as it sounds, but does feel like the dredged remnants of a pond. The feeling is akin to someone holding a magnet above you and drawing all the metal (in this case toxins) out. For anyone who has been burning the candle at both ends or just has jet lag (as the title suggests), it’s a true winner.
The Himalayan Bath Ritual that follows is practical rather than relaxing. Washing green sludge off your body is never going to be particularly soothing, but any oddness is soon allayed as the steady hands of LG take to our jet-lagged body. Everything from the kneading of our upper back to the pummeling of our thighs was meticulously done and lulled us into a deep slumber.
If its utter luxury you are after, however, then it’s got to be the Futuresse Deluxe Caviar Treatment. A swift warning before stampeding ahead, though: it will leave you looking a little like a spotty teenager. That’s not to say a nights sleep won’t allay any red spots from the ‘extraction process’, which involves removing blackheads, whitehead and other such nastiness, but don’t plan on a night on the town, because this treatment is all about the long term benefits, not the short term. But the use of pink caviar sheets and regeneration pearls is enough to win us over and that’s even before Rachane starts restoring our face to its former glory.
As caviar-fuelled lotions and potions sink in, prepare for neck, back, feet and hands to be kneaded and pummeled until twinges are relieved and spasms eradicated. The feeling of having pre caviar slathered over our face was bizarre but oddly satisfying – you can almost feel the regeneration happening. While we left the treatment room looking a little speckled, two days on, we’d have given Kate Moss a run for her money.
Whether it’s a little bit of ‘me’ time you’re after, or a place to show off the emirate in all its glory (we must mention the Sheikh Zayed mosque again here) to visiting friends and family, we’ve stumbled across our little slice of paradise – complete with infinity pool, palm trees and chilled towelettes.
The Himalayan Healing Stone Massage, Dhs700 for 120 minutes, The Travellers Retreat, Dhs1,000 for 150 minutes, Futuresse Deluxe Caviar Facial, Dhs900 for 135 minutes are available at Chi Spa (02 509 8900), The Shangri La Qaryat Al Beri. Treatments are available for men and women.
