1 Schumacher Flattens Battiston (Spain ’82): In the semi-final of the ’82 FIFA World Cup, Patrick Battiston of France is through on goal and the German ’keeper Harald Schumacher flies, hip first, into his face knocking him out cold. Battiston almost died and was lucky to get away with ‘just’ three lost teeth and a shattered jaw. The ref didn’t award a free kick and, to this day, Schumacher denies it was even a foul.
2 Higuita Losing The Ball (Italy ’90): One of the features during Italia ’90 was the grinning Colombian ’keeper Rene Higuita and his forays out of goal. The clown-haired extrovert took on forwards, went on walkabouts and took huge risks. Fun for a while, but then you just wanted the cocky buffoon to get caught. And, of course, he did. Cameroon’s Roger Milla nicked the ball from Higuita while he was messing about and the veteran forward put Colombia out of the World Cup. Not grinning now are you, Rene?
3 Gazza’s Tears (Italy ’90): In the semi-final against Germany, England star Paul Gascoigne picks up a booking and realises that it means he’ll miss the final if England get there. You can see the moment when he realises the weight of his actions – the top lip starts to go, the eyes get misty and his head wobbles. Gary Lineker mouths ‘have a word’ to the England bench, but it was too late, Gazza was blubbing like a girl and a memorable moment was born.
4 A Bit Of A Spat (Italy ’90): In the grudge match between Germany and Holland, Rudi Voller and Frank Rijkaard are involved in a brawl and are both shown red cards. Rijkaard spat at Voller and missed – summing up the Dutch performance in the game – but fancied another go. As he’s walking off the midfielder spits at the German who stands there utterly stunned as a large string of gob hangs off his curly mullet.
5 A Matter Of Life And Death (Usa ’94): In 1994, the Colombian Andreas Escobar scored an own goal in a match against the USA that cost his team a place in the next round. It then cost him his life as he was shot 12 times outside a bar. It was suspected the killing was a ‘punishment’ as Colombian gangsters had bet large amounts of money on the game. Then the BBC had to issue an apology the next day after pundit Alan Hansen (unaware of what had transpired) uttered one of his stock phrases, ‘The defender wants shooting for a mistake like that’ live on television. Oh dear…
6 Curse Of Keegan (France ’98): It’s 1998, England’s David Batty is about to take the vital penalty kick against Argentina and needs to score or England are out. As he puts the ball on the spot and commentator Brian Moore says: ‘Is he going to score Kevin, yes or no? Quickly…’ ‘Yes!’ Kev says confidently as Batty steps up and fluffs it. ‘Noooooo…’ cry 58 million English people.
7 Maradona Beats Belgium (Mexico ’86): The two goals against England in the previous round are infamous and incredible respectively, but the performance and goals in the semi-final against Belgium were among El Diego’s best. His two second-half strikes were mesmerising as Belgian defenders (four of them for one goal) were left floundering and the little Argentinean waltzed his team into the final.
8 Aldridge Losing It (Usa ’94): When Ireland’s John Aldridge’s entrance as a sub against Mexico was needlessly delayed, the gobby Scouse striker let fly. Perhaps the heat in Florida had gotten to him but his finger-jabbing spit-flying swearing invective was broadcast live and unedited as mothers covered their children’s ears across the English-speaking world.
9 Tardelli’s Scream (Spain ’82): Midfielder Marco Tardelli scores for Italy against the West Germans in the ’82 final and encapsulates the passion that football can bring as he sprints off, face contorted with elation. It’s known in Italy as ‘the scream’ and, to this day, it’s still the best goal celebration ever. No flips, handsprings, silly dances or showboating, just the pure unbridled ecstasy of scoring in the FIFA World Cup final.
10 Dirty Uruguay (Mexico ’86): They already had a reputation as being ‘a bit tasty’, but after just 56 seconds of Uruguay’s game against Scotland, Jose Batista practically assaulted Gordon Strachan and was sent off. Uruguay were forced to play 89 minutes with 10 men, but still managed to get a draw and, once again, Scotland were home before their postcards.
11 The Austro-Germany Coalition (Spain ’82): In the Austria and West Germany game in ’82, due to a daft group format, only a 1-0 win to the Germans would allow both these neighbouring countries to go through, at the expense of Algeria. When the Germans went one up after 10 minutes, both teams gave up. The game was reduced to walking pace with neither wanting to attack as fans booed throughout. Algeria said it was a fix. The rest of the world cried fix. FIFA ignored the protests, but the group system was changed before the next World Cup.
12 Prince Fahid Stops The Game (Spain ’82): Kuwait (circle pic, right) were being trounced 3-1 by France in an ’82 World Cup group game and as Alain Giresse banged in the fourth the Kuwaitis claimed it was offside. The ref said it was fine. The incensed Kuwaiti FA President, Prince Fahid, came down from the stands and walked onto the pitch to complain, saying his players had heard a whistle from the stands and stopped. The Russian referee then disgracefully changed his mind at the Royal behest and disallowed the goal.
13 Diana Ross Missing The Penalty (Usa ’94): When football fans settled in with drinks and pizza for the World Cup ’94 opening ceremony the only large, crusty Supreme they expected to see was the one with a cheese topping. But some bright spark decided the best way to mark the opening of the tournament was to get Diana Ross to kick a ball into the goal. This would start a ‘chain reaction’ in which the goal would split open and set off fireworks. From two yards out she missed. After a moment of confused silence they detonated the goal anyway.
14 Zaire Learn To Defend (Germany ’74): In the ’74 World Cup an understandably nervous Zaire were about to face a Brazilian free kick. As the ref blows the whistle, it’s all too much for defender Mwepu Ilunga who charges out of the wall and hammers the ball downfield before the Brazilian has even started his run up. The shrug of innocence and ‘that’s against the rules?’ look that follows was perfect.
15 Cameroon Flatten Caniggia (Italy ’90): Cameroon were one-up in their Group B game against Argentina when the South Americans broke looking for a last-minute equaliser. Claudio Caniggia hurdled the first lunge; the second – in a clear attempt to just foul him – caught him but he stumbled through, barely keeping his balance. Enter Benjamin Massing, who showed his teammates how to take a man out – he literally knocked Caniggia out of his boots. Massing was sent off, grinning and waving to the fans as he went.
16 Robin Williams Hijacks The Draw (Usa ’94): The World Cup draw is usually a tedious affair. Luckily, to liven things up, the Americans thought it would be a good idea to get Robin Williams to help FIFA President Sepp Blatter with proceedings for the ’94 World Cup. As the dour head of FIFA explained the procedure in Hawking monotone, Williams disrupted, insulted and put him off at every opportunity calling him ‘Mr Bladder’ throughout. Mork from Ork has never been so entertaining.
17 Zinedine Zidane Loses His Head (Germany ’06): There’s never genius without a tincture of madness, which Zinedine Zidane proved with aplomb. With the final locked at one goal apiece, the French talisman took umbrage to Italy’s Marco Materazzi’s ill-chosen comments regarding the chastity of his sister. So how did Zidane react? By doing his talking on the pitch, win the game, and make Materazzi eat humble pie? Square up to him? Hit him…? No, he headbutts him. In the chest. Needless to say, Zidane sees red, and Italy go on to win on penalties.
