As I peered into the mirror, the magician stood behind me clutching silk handkerchiefs in dazzling colours. She flung one around my neck. ‘Stare directly between your eyebrows,’ she instructed me. She flicked her wrist, switching one handkerchief for another; in an instant my skin brightened. Flick! She swapped the fabrics back – and my face fell dim. Flick! Lights on, cheeks radiant, eyes sparkling. Flick! Lights off, puffy bags under my lashes popping back to the forefront.
This was no ordinary magician performing magic tricks. Kirsty Volpe is a beauty magician – otherwise known as Abu Dhabi’s leading colour and image consultant – whose job is to teach you all the dye-llusions you need to make yourself a knockout.
Like most fashion fads from the ’80s, colour profiling is a craze that went big for about five minutes and then died a quick and merciful death. You may remember the trend of women dressing head-to-toe in their autumn/summer/winter/spring shades of choice. Middle aged mums in particular were big fans of the colour profiling shtick, but when it came to passing on the mantle, my generation dropped it on its head with a resounding thump, in favour of our grungy lumberjack looks and our sky high platforms.
I hate to admit it, but we made a horrible mistake. After one colour matching session with Kirsty, I want to climb the tallest tower in Abu Dhabi and holler at the top of my lungs, ‘I’m an autumn! Hallelujah!’ Kirsty’s a bright-eyed, beautiful expat, whose youthful boho-chic style is a far cry from the rainbow effect ’80s colour matchers favoured – she looks fashionably fresh, not gaudy.
My fellow appointee was first on the chair, so I was able to watch the magic happen to someone else initially. ‘Everyone has either a blue or a yellow undertone to their skin,’ Kirsty explained, ‘and once you figure yours out, you have a colour scheme for clothes that make you look healthier, energetic, younger and more vibrant. Colour matching is about optical illusions.’ As Kirsty chatted away, I stared in disbelief in the mirror. My face looked more splotchy pink than yellow or blue. I approach my life with the skepticism of a disillusioned ex-Catholic, and I began to wonder if I’d be the first client of Kirsty’s whose colour was ‘mottled.’
But soon I stopped checking out my own features and started watching the makeover of my partner. She had arrived at the appointment looking like a normal, young Abu Dhabi mum – sensible white blouse and ballet flats, black hair pulled back from her face. That is, until Kirsty began placing silk swatches in vibrant crimsons and deep, royal blues around her neck. Out of nowhere, she transformed into a stunning Middle Eastern beauty, her dark eyes sultry and striking, her skin a creamy shade of white, her hair deepening to a rich chocolate hue. ‘Yep,’ grinned Kirsty widely. ‘You’re a winter.’
I was a bit nervous to follow the spectacular mum-turned-model act, and of course, as fate would have it, I was much harder for Kirsty to match. She whipped shades on and off me at lightning speeds, muttering under her breath, ‘Tricky, tricky…’ But then finally – ‘Aha! An autumn. I see it now.’ I peeked open my eyes to admire myself in a deep rust shade. Kirsty snagged a peachy blush and peachy lip gloss to brighten my features, and I must admit I glowed. It was a different sort of makeover from MTM – instead of switching into a striking, smolderingly intense beauty, I warmed into a softer, gentler look, befitting my earthy autumn colours.
Figuring out your colour match is trickier than it sounds. Unless you’re a Smurf or sick with jaundice, it takes a seasoned eye to spot the tone lurking silently under the surface. Most people will dress to suit their hair, not noticing the subtle ashen shade that steals over their skin with certain colours.
Kirsty outfitted us with colour wallets and a make-up notebook that explained why the same gorgeous MAC shades my blonde best friend wears make me look like Britney Spears pre-rehab.
After our three-hour consultation, I’m tempted to write Anna Wintour a letter telling her this ’80s fad should have become a classic. Considering the year’s colour blocking trends, every girl needs to know her ‘wow’ hues. And besides, didn’t we leave the hungover hooker look way back with ’90s grunge?
Kirsty Volpe House of Colour (050 262 7419), Colour Class, Dhs70.
