Maxximus G-Force
Price on request
We wouldn’t be surprised if the makers of the Maxximus G-Force (note the extra ‘x’ – we imagine it stands for ‘xtraordinarily expensive’) eschewed petrol for running on pure testosterone. The automobile equivalent of a Y-chromosome, this is officially the world’s fastest street-legal super car, capable of hitting 0-60mph in 2.134 seconds. Designer Marlon Kirby claims he was driven to create this car by a fear of failure: ‘My philosophy about being in second place is that that person is the first loser.’ What a man!
Time Out says… We probably couldn’t even afford the deposit on the dashboard, but we’re prepared to sell our grandmothers to pay for it.
Boy points: 5/5 Out of sight
Sand Limo
From Dhs33,000
The word ‘limo’ is maybe stretching it a little bit. Sitting in the back of a sand limo in your prom dress, sipping a glass of something bubbly is not really an option. Roaring across the dunes, the sand streaming into your bloodshot eyes is more accurate, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. The extras (and speeds) very much depend upon your cash flow, but the starter model is enough to get us buzzing.
Time Out says… There has to be some advantage to living in a giant sand trap – we think we’ve just found it.
Boy points: 4/5 Enter sandman
Orange Sky
From Dhs9,000 to Dhs52,000
If you have exchanged common sense for a desire to look danger square in the eye and tweak its unmentionables, then this paratrike (complete with rescue parachute) is the machine for you. A 12-litre tank allows for three hours of flight time without the need for refuelling. Of course, you’ll need a small field (plus no little expertise) to take off and land the thing, but only 20 metres of runway are required to get you into the air. We’ll meet you on the Corniche!
Time Out says… It’s not like a new car. You can’t just climb in and you’re away. You’re going to need lessons, and we’re not sure our boy-brains have the patience.
Boy points: 3/5 Hard work
Anderson Mobile Estates
Price on request
Less a mobile home than a mansion on wheels. Should you be a movie star – the likes of, say, Will Smith (with an appropriate bank balance) – then chances are you already own one (he does!). Extravagant? Yes. But this isn’t exactly UAE-friendly; after all, the Emirates have no camper van sites. Indeed, there is a reason camper vans are frowned upon in this country – if you could avoid paying Abu Dhabi rents by sleeping in a van, wouldn’t you? But this is the full movie star treatment, and if you can afford one of these monsters, you aren’t sweating the small stuff.
Time Out says… Practicality doesn’t really come into it, but you’ve got to spend a bit to convince people it isn’t just some shiny caravan.
Boy points: 5/5 Home sweet home
i-Mate 810-F
Dhs2,595
Microsoft’s great ‘i’ hope. This bulky smartphone aims to be the iPhone you can take camping (or to war – it was originally designed for the military). Whether you’ll get a signal in Liwa, however, is another matter. Waterproofing, a full QWERTY keyboard (also touchscreen) and a respectable 2.2GB of storage are the perks, but let’s face it, it won’t win any beauty pageants.
Time Out says… It’s better to live for a day as a tiger than for a lifetime as a worm. We’d rather watch our beautiful ‘unlocked’ iPhone die a slow, outdoorsman’s death than lug this rubberised brute around.
Boy points: 2/5 Where’s the love?
Aqua Skipper
Approx Dhs4,200
We’re so insanely excited by this bad boy that we’re already dusting down our board shorts and oiling up our legs in anticipation. Basically a foldable, human-powered hydrofoil, the blurb says that ‘a gentle hopping motion’ is the only incentive needed to propel this lightweight monster at speeds of up to 27kph. We plan on bouncing on it like madmen and letting the dust settle where it may.
Time Out says… Yeah, we look mental. We don’t care. This is what loving stupid gadgets is all about.
Boy points: 4/5 Aye aye, skipper
Big Boys Toys takes place at ADNEC from April 30-May 2. Visit www.bigboystoysuae.com for more information.
