1 Home Alone
Macaulay Culkin had us (and his victims) in stitches when he missed his family’s winter vacation to Paris, instead spending Christmas fighting off hapless ne’er-do-wells with trip wires, piping hot door handles, and paint pot pendulums. But imagine if he’d made the flight. Imagine if he’d landed in a much sunnier winter holiday destination. Imagine if he was Home Alone in Abu Dhabi Airport. Between escalators (that nail-on-the-step scene still makes us shudder), luggage trollies, and passenger buggies, Kevin McCallister would boast an even greater arsenal of tools with which to inflict pain on unwanted intruders. And once he’s retreated high up into the control tower the bad guys stand no chance.
2 Elf
Forget the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest, the Sea of Swirly Twirly Gumdrops, and the Lincoln Tunnel – Buddy the Elf’s schlep from the North Pole looks plenty more ’grammable if Abu Dhabi is his final destination. Will Ferrell’s Christmas alter-ego is better served cruising the Corniche than he is dodging traffic in a dingy New York undercarriage. Just don’t ask us where he can get his maple-syrup-covered-pasta brekkie in the morning. That’s just gross.
3 Jingle All the Way
Arnold Schwarzenegger stars in this criminally under-rated festive cracker about a dad who promised his son a Turbo Man action figure for Christmas. Desperate to make good, Arnie fights his way back and forth across town on Christmas Eve in a frantic hunt, but not even his monster biceps are able to pull him out of this jam. How much simpler life would have been at any one of Abu Dhabi’s shopping centres where The Toy Store and other UAE favourites would undoubtedly be stocked to the brim with an army of Turbo Man toys. Once The Terminator star realises the wealth of shopping options under the roofs of Yas Mall, The Galleria at Al Maryah Island, we know he’ll be back
4 The Snowman
Is there a more instantly recognisable Christmas film theme tune than Howard Blake’s Walking in the Air? We think now. And, we’ll admit the chances of a snowman springing into life and flying us through the crisp winter sky are slim, particularly in this part of the world, but if it is to happen anywhere, it will could happen in the upcoming Snow Abu Dhabi, coming to Reem Mall in time for next Christmas. We’re sure there’ll be some magic in those slopes, and when listening to Blake’s rousing orchestral score we almost believe the impossible to be possible. Almost.
5 Die Hard
Though Bruce Willis has reportedly dismissed the notion, the public debate over whether Die Hard is, in fact, a Christmas classic rages on. All we know is that swapping out Nakatomi Plaza for Etihad Towers would take this Yippee Ki Yay classic to unparalleled heights. Hans Gruber and vest-wearing hero John McClane duking it over Abu Dhabi? Pass the popcorn.
