9pm Salsa night at Cinnabar
Our Saturday night begins in the land of salsa. It turns out there’s a thriving scene here in the capital, and the floor fills up fast with couples of all shapes and sizes. It’s worth a trip, if only to watch a 200lb man shimmy through a sultry number, using moves that rival Patrick Swayze’s in Dirty Dancing. Prior to that, we warmed up with the beginner’s classes (from 9pm-10pm). The shoulder wiggle and pelvic thrusts might feel odd at first, but you’ll be channelling your inner Shakira in no time. In fact, we were so into it we failed to notice a throng of seasoned salsa’ers who showed up to watch the action – the regulars love fresh blood. The moment the lights dim you’ll be drawn out onto the dance floor by a strappy-heeled vixen or a slick-haired salsa king, but don’t be too worried – they’ll take the lead.
Cinnabar, Hilton Abu Dhabi (02 681 1696)
10.30pm Ranjeela and Ranjani
A five-minute taxi ride away is Al Diar Capital’s twin basement Indian and South Indian dancing bars. Entry is free for both and, aside from local loyalties, there is little to choose between them. The same mix of overly lit performers, deafening recorded bangra and live drumming transfixes the audience. On stage, the Indian dancers shimmy reasonably gracefully on the spot, but there really isn’t much craft to it. It’s worth a visit, but the novelty wears off pretty fast and the sheer noise makes both conversation and ordering something a futile effort, so we beat a hasty retreat.
Al Diar Capital, Al Mina St (02 678 7700)
11.01pm The Buzz
There is no shortage of willing Filipino ‘karaokists’ in the capital and, come the weekend, The Buzz is home to most of them. A short walk from Capital, this cheery karaoke bar certainly had the most comprehensive song book we’d ever seen – there can’t be another bar in the world where you can perform obscure Nirvana B-side ‘Been a Son’. Drinks are predictably cheap, but the staff are a bit pushy and neither the tiny spinning disco ball or Boyzone posters can disguise a rather dowdy pub interior. Still, the crowd is friendly and we stayed just long enough to hear a man scream ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ in pidgin English. After that, nothing could compete.
Al Diar Regency, junction of Salam St and Corniche Road (02 676 5000)
11.47pm Safari Bar
A short walk from the Regency, we headed to Howard Johnson’s and ascended the rickety lift to the ominous floor 17. Here resides the hotel’s very own Africa-themed Safari Bar. Less a trip into the heart of darkness than a gentle stroll into the left ventricle of whimsy, Safari is home to both the best animated toilet sign we’d ever seen and its very own claw machine – yes, you heard right; you can ‘hunt’ teddies. The live Filipino band seemed to comprise about 400 members, the drinks are cheap and the atmosphere isn’t nearly as desperate as some of HoJo’s rival bars, although we dropped at least Dhs20 on the impossible claw machine.
Howard Johnson’s, opposite Le Royal Méridien (02 671 0000)
12.35am The Marina
Exhausted, we finally land at the Marina. To the far end lies a labyrinthine network of Indian dancing bars, deafening those foolish enough to pass close by, but our primary destination had to be the Ancient Rome-themed nightclub The Colosseum (now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d have to write). The fake stone cladding mimicking the ancient Roman fighting dens of old, amuses, while the DJ sits on high, pumping out the international language of ‘bangin’ house’ from atop the fake stone staircase. We know it of old and it’s always a bit pricey to get in, but, for simply the weirdest way to end any evening, it usually wins out. Surely staring at the crudely sculpted effigy of a Roman’s head on the wall (in reality, he looks more like a punk) surrounded by turrets, buttresses and the world’s smallest dancefloor is the perfect end to any evening. There really is nothing quite like it anywhere in the UAE; and with that, we leave bathed in happy memories of salsa dancers, claw machines and dreaming of Caesar.
Abu Dhabi Marina, next to Abu Dhabi Mall (02 644 0300)
