Anyone who’s seen Norman Cook – aka big-beat boss Fatboy Slim – at the decks will know him as a bundle of mad, hand-waving, finger-pointing energy, wearing a Hawaiian shirt that’s louder than his speakers. But when we get through to him at the tail-end of a media interview marathon, his enthusiasm is tempered by a weary air. ‘Sorry,’ he sighs, ‘I’m supposed to be plugging this gig but I’ve been doing this for two hours so I’m quite happy to talk about anything other than the gig in Dubai.’
But he’s not getting off the hook that easily. Ever since his 2006 gig was cancelled in the wake of the death of His Highness Sheikh Maktoum bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the UAE’s been waiting on tenterhooks for his return.
So come on, Fatboy – what’s in store? ‘I sort of play the same set in most places I go,’ he says with surprising honesty. ‘You can’t deviate too far from the scene, which is bouncy electronic party music with a hard edge. The only thing that changes is whether it’s more moody or more party – but on beaches it always tends to be more party. You can’t get moody on a beach, can you?’
And it seems Cook can’t get moody when he’s thinking about music, because the more he talks about his set, the more that familiar Fatboy Slim energy radiates. Especially when we move on to one of his many side-projects, a musical about Imedla Marcos that he co-wrote with Talking Heads founder David Byrne. Seriously. ‘Imelda spent most of her time in [infamous New York disco] Studio 54. David said that he wanted to update it to the modern equivalent, which is [massive Ibiza night] Manumission, so he asked me to collaborate.’
The result is a 22-song stage show that’s currently being put together in New York – much to the chagrin of Marcos herself. ‘She got wind of it, and when David was in The Philippines doing research, some of her people got in touch and said he should leave the country. She’s not happy.’ But Cook’s whimsical about the threat. ‘Well David’s already a legend – being bumped off by Imelda Marcos would just seal the deal,’ he chuckles. ‘It would be great for the closing number, as David floats off with the angels, singing, “Once in a life, you may find yourself in a ditch in Manila…”’ And is Cook on the hit list? He doesn’t sound scared. ‘I love it [in the Philippines], but we’re just having to avoid going there.’
Let’s hope that Imelda doesn’t get hold of Cook’s number like Byrne did, then. Not that he was the first. ‘I’ve been cold-called by some fairly famous people, to the point where I say, “Yeah, f*** off – who is this really?” Zoë [Ball, radio presenter and Cook’s wife] picked up the phone once and this voice said, “Is Norm there?” She asked him who it was and the guy said, “Mick Jagger.” She said, “F*** off! Norm, is that you doing that really bad impersonation?” It sounds like I’m name dropping, but it still freaks me out, too.’
He says that, but his work as The Brighton Port Authority, a collaboration with someseriously well-known musicians – the likes of Dizzee Rascal, Jack Peñate, Jamie T and Ashley Beedle from X-Press 2 – seems to have left him a little more blasé. ‘Over the years that we were working on BPA album [I Think We’re Gonna Need A Bigger Boat, released this week], I’d have all these weird people around. I’d be in bed and Zoë would come upstairs and say, “Why the f*** is Iggy Pop having breakfast in our kitchen?” And I’d say, “Oh, we were doing a tune together and it ran on a bit late so he’s staying for a couple of days.” He’s very, very polite. He’s one of my favourite houseguests.’ See, being able to offhandedly say that the Godfather of punk is one of your favourite houseguests is definitely a sign that you’ve acclimatised to the weird world of celebrity. As is this: ‘He’s really cute. After a couple of glasses of wine he tells all these great stories of him and David Bowie in the ’70s.’
We wish Cook wasn’t so affable and chummy on the phone, frankly, so that we could hate his guts. So in an effort to feel better about our own lives, we ask him what’s bad about his. But we immediately regret it, as his chipper, lively tone gives way to a thoughtful, sadder one. ‘I drink too much,’ he sighs. ‘And things like when me and Zoë had marital problems [in 2003, when they underwe nt a one-month split] and the papers were all over us, which is the one thing you don’t want when you’re trying to sort your marriage out. They’re all bad things, but the good things far outweigh them, so I don’t complain.’
His tone turns more jovial as he continues. ‘My main [problem] is my choice of wife. I was doing alright as a musician until I married Zoë, and then all of a sudden we became serious celebs. That’s the bad thing – if I hadn’t married Zoë everything would be fine,’ he chuckles. But it’s hard not to wonder if these jokes are a way for him to distance himself from the interview – using his jovial Fatboy Slim persona as a defence mechanism against bloodsucking journos.
Some of them even want to take that away from him. After sarcastically confirming to a journalist that he would ditch Fatboy Slim to become The Brighton Port Authority, the tabloids announced that this was the end of Cook’s most successful persona to date. Not likely, he says. ‘I couldn’t drop it even if I wanted to, because all the photo sessions are of me. Even if I take off the Hawaiian shirt it’s still me, Fatboy Slim. People will still go, “Oi, Fatboy!” in the street.’
Not that he’s complaining. ‘I’m still doing bigger and bigger gigs, so as long as I’m still having fun, putting food on the table and shoes on my son’s feet, I’m happy. If I stop enjoying it and they stop coming, that’s when I’ll stop. But I can’t – I’ve not got anything else to do in my life. I’m not qualified to do anything else. Like get up, put on a suit and do what I’m told? Can’t do that.’ Amen, Norman. Amen.
Slim pickings
Norman Cook’s guide to life
Best new tune: That’s a hard one – my mind goes blank. There’s a remix of The Mystery Jets that I absolutely love, but I can’t remember what it’s called… it’s mental though. To be honest, I actually have a production meeting tomorrow for the new set – I haven’t played it since Brighton beach in September, so I need to get some new tunes together.
Best TV show: The Wire. I’m absolutely addicted to it. It reminds me of Hill Street Blues and The Sopranos. It’s got everything: soap opera, gangsters, drugs… We’re halfway through series four now and me and the wife are having anxiety attacks because we’ve only got one and a half more to go.
Best book: The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists – it really impacted my politics. It’s about socialism and the beginning of the fledgling trade-union movement, but set before they were invented. It’s very un-Dubai, but me not playing there wouldn’t change the world, but playing there lets me channel the money I make into charity. What else do you do? Ignore the place and hope it goes away?
Best film: The Big Lebowski. It just makes me laugh. I identify with The Dude at times, but every single character just tickles me. I love everything the Coens do, but that one particularly. I like to watch it after Apocalypse Now – me and Zoë know it line for line.
Best quote: ‘Never go swimming with bow-legged women’. It might be a quote from a mate of mine’s dad. It might not have any literary or film reference whatsoever. [After being told it was used in a ’30s Popeye cartoon] Oh really? That’s fantastic!
Fatboy Slim plays Barasti at Le Meridien Mina Seyahi hotel (04 399 3333), Dubai, February 11. Tickets Dhs350, see www.timeouttickets.com
