They say shopping in the UAE is a national sport. If that’s the case, then I deserve a gold medal. And ladies, if you need some training in the art of flexing your credit cards (and justifying those purchases to your husband) then I’m the girl for you.
January is the month of sales, which means even more scope for workouts for your plastic friends. This month turns me into an addict, but the key to compulsive shopping is rationalising my behaviour with my husband (and of course, myself).
You see, in my head there is a fantastic make-believe economy where I can justify pretty much any purchase. I visit this place often. It’s a shiny, happy place and unicorns live there.
Here are some of the thoughts that pop into my head that justify all those dirhams I’ll be spending on a shopping trip:
* I haven’t had a parking fine in ages so this Dhs350 dress is actually free!
* These jeans are 50 percent off which means I have made a profit of Dhs200. I’m practically rich. Now what should I spend that on?
* I’m at the airport on my way to another city so therefore this imported copy of Vanity Fair for Dhs80 is not that expensive.
* If I was a smoker, I would be spending a fortune and have nothing to show for it so this Dhs500 necklace is a bargain.
* If I don’t buy a coffee or lunch today I can buy a fashion magazine or a brand new T-shirt.
You never knew money could be free, did you? Welcome to my fantastic world of delusion.
At this point (depending on whether you’re male or female), you’ll either be muttering, ‘since when did they start hiring nut jobs at Time Out?’ or you’ll be nodding vigorously and taking notes for the next time you’re tempted by ANOTHER pair of sparkly flats (yes I agree, they’re really practical, glitter is basically a neutral and you totally need them!).
The next rule? Don’t share these purchases. Recently, I was telling off my husband for using my shampoo and conditioner instead of his own.
‘I’ve told you a thousand times it’s a waste. That stuff is EXPENSIVE. And your hair doesn’t matter as much as mine. It’s short. You can use whatever.
I can’t. So stop it.’
As my husband glanced at me quizzically, about to start questioning my logic, I continued: ‘My shampoo and conditioner are more expensive than yours so on a cost per use basis, it’s nuts for you to use them.’
I hate it when someone challenges my logic. Particularly my shopping logic. I generally prefer it to remain unchallenged. With unicorns.
Of course, the cycle never ends for us compulsive buyers. As soon as those January sales end, the Spring collections come out. And just look at how flattering all those outfits look on you. Not to mention how well they go with everything you bought at the January sales….
Angela Beitz is our Shopping & Style Editor. We all pretend we can see the unicorns too.
