Anantara Spa is nestled amongst the opulence that is Emirates Palace and, naturally, the luxury has rubbed off on the place. From the word go you sense that the spa is not averse to a touch of pretension as it offers, not treatments, but ‘spa journeys’ with names like, Path to the Pearl of the Orient, and Passage to the Land of the Rajas. I went for the latter. It’s worth noting that I usually tend to avoid treatments with the word ‘passage’ in the title, but this promised something special: ‘Not only will you leave with a renewed sense of calm and balance, but also with a heightened sense of awareness and an inner sensation of peace.’ Well, that’s a claim worth testing out, surely?
So I headed off ready to be pampered and looking forward to inner peace. I certainly wasn’t feeling calm when I arrived 20 minutes late for my appointment. The traffic (as usual) had been a nightmare, and the taxi driver spent 10 minutes driving round the expansive grounds trying to find the spa itself. The signposting was very vague; there was a sign for the ‘west spa’, but the fact they had given it its own compass coordinate made us think there were probably north, east and south spas too. But, with the help of some friendly guards, we eventually found it – although I only knew this after entering through the inconspicuous door which had no sign on it either. But this was the spa alright. A trio of smiling faces behind the desk welcomed me in and immediately made me relax. I looked around, and the soft lighting, trickling water, mosaic walls and tinkling music made me sink further into my cushioned seat.
My therapist came down to collect me; I don’t know if it’s because I’m from the UK and used to brutish Brits, but I’m always amazed at the polite, quiet demeanour of Thai people. So courteous with their delicate hand gestures and sing-song tones. I immediately warmed to her. Her name, she told me over a floral foot bath, was Theeta, and it’s always nice to know the name of the person that’s going to be feeling you up for the next two hours and 20 minutes.
It was time for my treatment. I lay on a soft bed, wrapped in a towel in a room made for relaxation, with its soft lighting, aromatic scents and soft music. And for those few blissful hours of my life I made a decision: hands weren’t made for building, eating with, communicating… none of that essential-to-human-survival malarkey. No, no. They were made for massaging. Or at the very least, Theeta’s were. The ultimate in indulgence and pampering, from head to toe I was dribbled in warm ayurvedic oils and every inch of my arms, legs, stomach, back and head was painstakingly rubbed with gentle strokes, alternating with firmer pressure. A surprising high point for me was the arm massage. Surprising, as it’s not a body part you usually think of when desiring a good rub down (I’m thinking feet/shoulders/back as the usual, in case you needed clarification), but having attention paid to these left-out limbs is ridiculously relaxing. And the back massage was out of this world. The firm press of her palm sending a path of warmth up my spine, and the tickle of light fingertips tracing the line behind was absolute bliss.
When my treatment came to an end, I felt like it would be impossible to peel myself off the bed. I wanted to stay there forever. However, with my hair covered in coconut oil and my body looking like I’d just spent two hours wading around in a deep-fat fryer, I felt like I needed to be hosed down by a team of those nice environmentalists in bright orange jumpsuits who clean baby seals and such after oil spills. But I made do with the shower offered, and the giant water-gushing heads aimed at me from three different directions did the trick.
I got dressed and floated back downstairs to reception, where the more-than-Dhs1,000 bill threatened to topple me from my cloud. Could I stay a bit perhaps? Stew in one of the Jacuzzis, freeze in the ice cave (or maybe not), or even get a complimentary stay in the palace penthouse? No? Well I guess Dhs1,000 is paltry pocket money to the spa’s usual clientele of royals and celebrities. And for a round trip to heaven, I’d have to admit, it’s worth the price tag. I wouldn’t say I had a heightened sense of awareness or feeling of inner peace, but I certainly felt very blissed out. And the fact that my massage was based on the usual pampering rituals of ancient India’s monarchy – well all I can say is, they were some lucky sons of maharajas.
Anantara Spa, Emirates Palace, follow signs for the west spa (02 690 9000). Open 10am-10pm daily. Featured treatment cost Dhs1,009 inc tax. All major credit cards accepted
