I arrive at Hiltonia Beach Club not knowing what to expect. There is little about the word candle and its constituents of wax and fire which suggests that its present participle, combined with the human ear, could be anything other than a form of torture. (‘Time for your candling, Mr Bond’.) The internet had also done little to assuage my fears, and the merest google brings with it scare stories and a mountain of conflicting evidence. But I am an open-minded fellow, and despite suffering a bit of flu (candling is good for your sinuses, my therapist later tells me), stroll manfully onwards. As it turns out, though, I needn’t have worried.
Having changed into the de rigueur fluffy white dressing gown and filled out the habitual forms (‘no, I don’t have tinitis, or Ménière’s disease for that matter’), I’m led from the relaxation area to the treatment room. My therapist urges me to lie down and produces two rather innocuous looking cylindrical sticks. These are made from beeswax, she tells me, infused with peppermint, lemongrass and camomile. They are essentially funnels, the heat from which is used to loosen and suck up excess wax. The result is, well, less wax, but it is also allegedly effective in preventing recurring headaches.
It is a technique said to originate from the Hopi Indians, although there is some debate on this matter, not least from the Hopi community itself. But before we begin, my therapist must first cleanse my ears – a rather pungent process, it turns out, as she begins to rub in a slightly noxious substance.
Indeed, there is little dignity in ear candling, and as I roll onto my side and the first candle is ‘screwed’ into place and lit, I don’t feel too kingly. My therapist told me I would hear a crackling sound; in truth it’s a bit like someone eating Rice Krispies in my ear canal. While Snap, Crackle and Pop dance a merry jig on my cochlea, my therapist performs a similar action on my shoulders. She’s not what you’d call gentle. In fact, my shoulders seem to have offended her in some way and it’s as if she’s teaching them a lesson. But results are what count, and as the knots begin to give way, I come round to her way of thinking. In the meantime, a tingly sensation when I swallow suggests the candle is doing something internal, and, eventually, in about six or seven minutes, it burns out and we repeat the process on the opposite side.
Forgive me if I digress, but I believe there is a certain innate curiosity in all of us about that which the body hides. It is one of the less endearing aspects of the human condition. I think it’s this curiosity which compels people who sneeze to then open up their handkerchiefs to see what lies inside. Surely there can be few surprises to come from this particular orifice, but you do it nonetheless. It is part of the unpleasant reality of what it is to be human: the knowledge that most of us never really know what goes on inside our bodies, and so the thought of eeking some hidden truth by whatever sign available is one that fascinates us. At least, this is how I justify my excitement when my therapist offers to show me what has emerged from the inner depths of my ears.
The result, in truth, isn’t much. She tears the first candle open and amongst the debris are a couple of small brownish boulders which she tells me are wax. The other is empty. In fairness, clients are urged to undergo a series of several treatments, but I had expected something a bit more dramatic. However, my left ear does feel freer, and my shoulders are limper than a steamed jellyfish. So what have we learned? I saw nothing in this therapy that could warrant the internet horror stories I’d read prior to my treatment, but nor did I see any huge benefit, and I’m now not allowed to get water in my ears for 24 hours. For those with seriously blocked ears, professional medical treatment is always the best solution, but if you’re looking for a therapy that’s a bit different and you’ve tried everything else, it’s worth a go. It’s just that it doesn’t feel very indulgent, which is surely the first thing we look for when we go for a bit of pampering.
Ear candling is available at Hiltonia Beach Club for Dhs240 per session. Call 02 692 4324 to book an appointment
